At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
