Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
