I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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