There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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