He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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