Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
