no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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