I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
