Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
