I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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