Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Randomize