@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
