I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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