sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
