they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
