i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
