Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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