My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
