I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
