Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
last night I used snow as a chaser
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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