He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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