Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
