it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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