Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
