You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
