I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
