Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
