GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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