Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The best revenge is premature balding
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
