He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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