My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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