Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
