I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
