spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
