just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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