Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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