just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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