the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh god it's open bar.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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