He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
