I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
