tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
