I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
ttyl tear gas
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize