dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
