i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
