just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
