Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize