We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
