Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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