Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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