Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
