I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i out mim tonsoeep
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
