ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Enjoy the penises
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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