Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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