it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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