Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Couch. On fire.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
