shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
