these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Panties = found
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
