But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I cockslap morals
i think i have two assholes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
