Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
