the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
