im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
